Bowels and bidets

We have a new bidet and I am happy. Without wishing to put any of you off your breakfast, when we first considered installing one it was not some aspirational, continental luxury, it was a necessity. You see at first, yours truly just could not contort his limbs into the optimum position for effective personal hygiene; thus he was forced either into the shower – a grandiose expectation for the loo in Tesco’s or worse sitting in the sink with all the ensuing peril of it, or yours truly ending up on the floor in a trouserless heap of brick dust and cascading water jets. Anyway the journey to this installation was not without it’s amusement. In particular I would like to draw your attention to the first solution offered to us by the plumber. True it was ingenious as it required no extra porcelain, true it had the virtue of a ‘remote control’ but as M put it ‘you can’t wash your feet in that’ besides which, as you will observe from the video at the bottom of the pages (linked below entitled: this is how Gerberit Aqua Clean works) one could imagine some extraordinarily humorous, not say dangerous incidents for any guest who might mistakenly wish to flick through the TV channels to catch up with the footie while having a dump. https://www.geberit-aquaclean.co.uk/en_uk/produkte/geberit_aquaclean_sela/geberit_aquaclean_sela.html