Monthly Archives: December 2020


Maria and I have been honing our craft skills somewhat obsessively .
I spent a silly amount of time building a stage for Jesus’s birth which Nonna and Maria know as a ‘Presebio.’ – nativity scene I guess. Needless to say I did not carve the figures, they are 1960/70/80’s made in Hong Kong Hong-Kong, incredibly brittle/delicate plastic figures that I think are totally brill. I bought them from E-Bay.

I like my Presebios realistic don’t you. A modernist/brutalist nativity set in the Barbican flats does not float my boat and given the subject matter and the legacy of ‘Life of Brian’ taking the piss or being ironic is miles too easy – besides Greggs nailed it last year with the sausage roll Jesus. Maria added the theatrical drape and the rock and the tree were recycled components of Arthur’s Bonsai that was left in our care which we forgot to water so it died so tried planting in the garden where it died a bit more and now it lives into eternity sprayed with varnish just like followers of Christ – so very fitting. The lucite Jesus is admittedly a bit kitsch but this if the first time we have housed a devotional object so I suppose we should give him a showing. The lighting is on a dimmer (and it really does look fab at night) and the figures are magnetised to the stable floor otherwise the meringue like material they are made from would cause them to tumble producing an unintended bacchanalian effect that could be offensive or comic – and we certainly don’t want that do we.

Next Maria has spent a similarly obsessive degree of energy collecting materials for a holly (with berries – had to have berries) and spruce arch around our door. We have captured it for posterity as in common with many of our Christmas adornments it is held up by faith and ‘command strips’ – said pair have historically been known to let us down when outside conditions turn particularly North Yorks. (If you haven’t discovered command strips yet they are great cos they leave your paint in tact when you remove them – dead clever but not cheap.)

Finally I am doing finishing touches to my Christmas web radio broadcast from the phone box scheduled for 8:00 pm on the 25th.

I chose this as a particularly disruptive time for both the posh people who start Christmas dinner at eight or the common people who watch telly at eight – this way I can be sure of my martyrdom as its likely no one will be listening and I can rest comfortably on the myth of neglected geniushood that currently sustains me.

i cant stand being wished Happy Christmas, Season Greetings, have a good one, a happy new year and all that blah blah banal meaningless platitudinous bollocks so i wont – so there – suck it up – deal with it – cope – humpf. Tra..