So instead of going on about all the silly arty nonsense that gives me pleasure and purpose, in the spirit of Tuffin here are two lists – Maria’s typical day and mine (while on chemo – see postscript)
Maria’s list on the days she doesn’t go to work
- Bring me a cup of tea in bed, make coffee
- Feed 3 cats – much cat wrangling required
- Shower
- Stand in mouse guts in bare feet
- Replenish coal for stove add mouse guts as additional fuel
- dress, make-up, contacts etc
- Bring me toast and coffee in bed
- Open Nonna’s front door so that the two cats who don’t try to kill each other can get in for snacks and Nonna love
- Listen to me moan about illness from bed over Alexa ‘announce’
- Visit Nonna
- Do some of the necessary for Nonna – cleaning, sometimes lunch prep later – help with bathing – wash hair – unpleasant potty toilet business
- Prepare open fires
- Collect kindling and fill coal buckets (after all my poorly back!)
- Online shopping for us and Nonna – I would do ours but I am not allowed, – grievance 1
- Washing machine stuff – I don’t know what exactly as I have always assumed a laundry fairy did it
- Put clothes out to dry in sun
- Take clothes back in from hail
- Tidy up and vacuum fresh rabbit fur tails etc
- Remove the previously missed desiccated cat kills, vomit or just occasionally poo
- Change cat litter as response to above – the little sods like their bathroom to be ‘cilit banged’ or they wont use it
- Empty bins we have 4 indoor kitchen bins
- Move outside and shuffle the 4 different coloured outdoor dustbins we have + Nonna’s four
- Feed cats again – this goes on all day
- Chop wood with chain saw – her favourite thing – think she imagines its mine or Nonna’s head under her ferocious blade
- Loads of garden jobs including cutting grass or tending the tomato farm next door
- Walk down road to get eggs
- Put away online delivery for us and Nonna (after all my poorly back!)
- Make my lunch (naturally)
- Maybe some ironing
- Practise piano (bang the keys a lot and swear)
- Prepare work for school eg recording backing tracks (a little bit hilarious because of above)
- Respond to emails from Tiger mums
- Do an online safeguarding course again – third time lucky with the acronyms
- Make me a refreshing cup of tea
- Listen to me moan about my illnesses
- Visit Nonna again
- Listen to her moan about her illnesses
- Do Nonnas washing up
- Lock Nonna in
- Realise Mitch is also locked in at Nonna’s
- Find Mitch hiding at Nonna’s
- Lock Nonna in again
- Feed traumatised Mitch who doesn’t like enforced house moves
- Wrangle the other two cats (can involve chasing Vince round the kitchen table a few times with Bobby hissing in the b/h a door in the background)
- Water a million outdoor pots
- Make my dinner (now late cos of above – Grievance 2 – prioritise Chris not pot watering)
- Collect my lap table and cutlery and present a delicious home made dinner
- Receive praise from me (naturally}
- Watch my choice of TV (actually that isn’t true I can’t let that go makes me sound like a lazy misogynist tyrant)
- Go to bed annoyingly early because she is tired!
- Read Woodhouse to escape – I wonder why.
My list
- Wake up (phew) – be awake already (poo)
- Take pills and Eat breakfast
- Moan about my Illnesses
- Add trousers and jumper to my three day usage bed underwear thus completing my work wear in 14 seconds
- Go to my desk /Faff about with e-mail/push paperwork hither and thither for a couple of hours – sharpen pencils – bash blackboard rubber – drink milk from tiny bottle with white paper straw – cry internally most of the day – oops i digress that was primary school
- Eat lunch then well deserved nap
- Sometimes teach the few students who attend online sessions thus avoid marking for the fifth day
- Buy something online to make me feel better and less stressed about the build up of marking
- Obsess for the next 5 hours about some ridiculous arty project until my arse grows numb
- Moan about my illnesses which now includes numb arse
- Get pissed of that the ridiculous Arty project doesn’t work
- CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN (yep this contribution has to be writ large- (after all my poorly back! – what a martyr))
- Eat delicious dinner, much telly, pills
- groan my way into my bed in now approaching 4 day usage bed underwear
- Not sleep
- Write this
Ps. Of course when I am not on chemo it’s a different story – of course!