The winner = ‘Flatulence’ submitted by JAA

This is a very dull post. Sorry it’s the drugs.

I thought about sending out Christmas Cards like last year but anything I came up with seemed to be feeble when compared to the ‘Mitch with rabbit entrails,’ I sent last year. I just don’t think there is a better Christmas card lurking in my or Mitch’s imagination. You will have to make do with the delight above from the Guardian.

Caption please??

Santa came early for me with a sack load of new drugs including Thalidomide. I have already overdosed by accident which caused me to slide inelegantly off my chair onto my office floor. No damage, happily but a reminder to check my spread-sheet more vigilantly. Maria shouted at me with the love you reserve for naughty children that nearly get run over or rush to embrace a fierce Alsatian. I recognised it immediately and appreciated the verbal slapping. Well deserved. What a plonker I can be.

George and Avani are in Sri Lanka sauntering with Elephants and fifteen members of Av’s family. They seem to be having a unforgettable time and we get frequent pics of sauntering elephants on main carriage ways, most bizarre. Not pattable I am told. Arthur and Lisa are still rushing about. They have done a radio gig, or maybe that was Lisa on her own, anyway when I have the link I will put it up. We expect them next week and George a bit latter finally Avani after Christmas. Hopefully the odd few days in the middle when we have a complete set.

Maria DOES Christmas. I spectate and contribute literally nothing bar purchases from Amazon and tempered disdain. I am just too lazy. I love the fact that the family love it so much and it is an amazing show, but I have to confess I find Christmas quite tiresome. I love the family here, the talking, the odd pressie but all the ritual decorating endless cooking and making big is not my cup of tea. I would like people, the telly on, if pressed a trip into town for a coffee, a few good pressies and then life as normal just with everyone here for a good long stay. No Christingle, no carols, no Michael Buble, no lights, trees, CARDs – bloody hate the things, unexpected guests, delighted little children, Boxing Day walks, new year resolutions particularly diets, good wishes or any kind in fact any mention of Christmas at all.

Things I really like at Christmas include – snow, when our cat ate tinsel and it hung out of his bottom, me getting presents that are not soft, smelly or edible and preferably made of metal and wire, taking everything down and burning this years cards.

Life is good and I made it through a semseter’s teaching with a just a few odd days messed up by incapacity and hospital visits. I think I did a good job. I was an enthusiastic and , unusually for me fairly competent teacher. I have made good use of the Uni technology to make my life and theirs better, I hope. I have a really good module to teach next year which allows me to play with lots of contemporary art and new technology and I am really enjoying swatting for that. The marking is tedious and I often think the amount of feedback we are required to give a gigantic waste of time. Most students are happy with a mark and a chat – both are crucial, but an essay from your lecturer is not – so I don’t do it.

I continue to experience issues with my mailing list. I have lost track of whats going on now so apologies if you get nothing, something, many repeat somethings.

This time the drugs are both exciting me and slowing me down. The result is a slightly befuddled state. I am very forgetful and easily muddled. Hence this blog is passionless and respectable in a fairly unpalatable way. I will wind up or wind down for now .

ZZZZZZZZZ……

Ps. Did i mention that our drone lost in a tree for the entire summer has fallen down and not only does it still work, survived being shot by George with an air pistol but the pictures and videos it took survived as well!!!! I will write to the manufactures in China and congratulate them – truly amazing for a cheap plastic toy.