It’s a long time since I pontificated about anything serious. I admit to some embarrassment at my spouts of yore but they were well-intentioned, if crude outbursts of juvenile dogoodiness. I was only 59 then. Now at 60, and at the risk of repeating myself, like the bore I know I can be (Maria sometimes reminds me after dinner with the neighbours during which guests have literally fallen asleep on the floor – no I jest not) I thought I would set out my thoughts on current events. I do this for the thrill of being able to vent, and because the Corbyn ‘victory’ – and it is a victory in my view, has made me feel happy and mouthy and optimistic and young again. 

Terrorists and Trumpists – Much the same thing

I think I know what a terrorist feels like as they blow themselves up. Horny and full of fantasies that they are important and strong and right and heroic and most of all admired. Who does that remind you of? We all remember wanting to feel like that. We might have secretly smoked No.6, or drank pints of Newcastle Brown or read books on swords and guns and heads being cut off or hung out car windows with our sleeves rolled up, or gone to the gym or bought a leather jacket with studs or got a tattoo. I did quite a few of these. The difference, I suppose is that we had our mums and dads and our friends and teachers to tell us that we were being complete tossers. Weren’t we lucky. At the time the mockery is hard to take but if enough people laugh at you when you stick knives down your purpose bought high leather boots (outside the trouser) to protect yourself, cos you are in London and London is full of gangs and you plan to fight them off cos you are tough — and then you show the weaponry to everyone on your course – so they respect you – (someone I knew at Guildhall did all of this (and he was from the Isle of Wight) – and yes we laughed at him – and yes he left the Stage Management course – probably to become a terrorist – derailing my thesis before I have posited it) – then maybe, just maybe, you would think again. Trouble is these men and women are surrounded by people who take them seriously. Terrorists and Trumpists are nothing but more up their arses than most – narcissists – just like most teenagers are narcissists. Amidst the nightmare of all these tear-jerking deaths and mind numbing ‘policies’ (I think policies is too sensible a word perhaps ‘farts’ sums up Trumps outputs (forgive the pun) (disgusting, unintended, impolite, noxious, shitty)) If only we could laugh at them. Not possible of course and probably very dangerous.

Nation states.

I read an article recently that imagined a future from which we would regard nation states and the eating of our fellow creatures as barbaric anomalies. I must admit I agree. While I continue to eat the flora and fauna, the birds and bees (I did once eat a fried bee in china – slightly furry taste) – and I enjoy them with only a miniscule bit of guilt, I would happily see nation states go the way of UKIP in the last election – ie to fade away quietly in the morning as if they nowt but a bad dream. Patriotism is not a virtue! Nation states encourage us to turn a blind eye at all the killings that afflict anyone beyond the white cliffs of Dover. The atrocities that afflict this country represent something like a quiet Sunday afternoon in Syria. While the proximity effect is definitely real, namely we only worry about something if it is near enough to home that it seems worth worrying about, our willingness to utterly disregard the plight of our more distant brethren does seem merciless.

Labour Party – I feel young

I am not proud to be part of any party even the one I pay to be a member of. Parties/Shmarties I say. Tribes and teams are abhorrent to me but I could not help being delighted when the Labour Party, to my great surprise, gave the Tories such a bloody nose last week. I wish I was able to be more like Corbyn and not get personal but is it just me or aren’t the current crop of Tories a particularly distasteful bunch? Gaud what a bunch of old fogies yet so many people voted for them. Why? I am sceptical about statistics but I like to quote the one that says the less well educated you are, the more fearful of change and the older you are, the more likely it is that you will vote Tory. Thus I pronounce myself well educated, fearless and young – which for a 60 year old who failed his O levels and is frightened of most things, is quite a metamorphosis.

DUP – more god squadders in positions of power.

What a horror that the Cons are in bed with the DUP. This is a very nasty party indeed, riven through with religious bigotry. Teresa May has her faith – Tony Blair has his – needless to say I don’t approve of either but compared to the DUP these two misguided souls are virtually Richard Dawkins think-alikes. We still have faith schools, we still have bishops in the House of Lords and we still have too many formal ties to the established church. We have too many churches serving no purpose than to clutter the landscape with expensive to maintain ugly roofs (god I dislike church architecture – all those spires and towers – and have you seen the insides? – someone brighten them up with a bit of Farrow and Ball). On the BBC we have vocal representatives of Anglicanism who are given too much air-time. Like ‘Thought for the day’ that gives dull voice to dull people (granted the odd one is pretty cool – that Scottish Monk for example -but I will set that aside as it bifurcates the trajectory of my rant) and the Daily Service and Songs of Praise are both of which are only out-bored by Money Box live and ‘You and Yours.’ It is definitely time to get rid of Capitalism, Winifred Robinson and God in that order. Sadly neither proposal is on the Labour manifesto. But beware – Daily Mail Readers and Winifred– if that man gets into power, well you never know ….