Hopefully Julie and Ricky and coming to find things in our lofts but if they encountered me now they might go off the idea. Yesterday I got a major bollocking at the hospital, had to stay behind after school to see the registrar all because John the nurse was absolutely horrified that I was driving and they almost kept me in overnight after he misread my blood pressure which seemed to indicate that I was barely alive. The registrar was a beautiful gentle Malaysian woman, who at first seemed unruffled but even she was concerned once the enormity of the dose of pain killers I was taking was revealed to her. Both were somewhat comforted by the fact that I had failed to take my last two doses while at the hospital, in part to avoid detection and in part because I forgot to bring them along. Anyway the result was that I am now on a reduced consumption of pain killers from a peak of 26 per day to 15 and one particularly nuclear one has been dropped all together. I can feel the withdrawal already or at least I can imagine it. Luckily the Daily Express, all that was available in Costa during the two hour wait for my results, reminded me that Gabapentin, the dose of which had ironically been increased, can induce suicidal feelings and feelings of despair – thus during the journey home I was on the edge of my seat wondering if I would suddenly feel the urge to plunge my Volvo into the Ouse. Knowing Volvos it is probably equipped with flotation chambers or oxygen masks so that would have been embarrassing.

Anyway despite a all these efforts to destroy myself, my bloods have remained stable, my consultant is unconcerned, Jon my nurse, is secretly pro Corbyn, loveable if a lousy taker of blood pressure, my beard is off by accident, Arthur assuring me the clippers did a number one, they don’t they do a number minus one, I am a bit confined to bed again, mainly due to mood but a little to do with side effects of coming off the frigging things and a cold. My telephone parts have not arrived. I am learning Arduino. I am happy.