{"id":873,"date":"2015-06-18T18:28:51","date_gmt":"2015-06-18T17:28:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fleeting.eu:8080\/wordpress\/?p=873"},"modified":"2016-10-19T16:39:13","modified_gmt":"2016-10-19T15:39:13","slug":"existential-weekend-survived-and-brillo-bard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/existential-weekend-survived-and-brillo-bard\/","title":{"rendered":"Existential weekend survived and Brillo Bard"},"content":{"rendered":"

I coped with my weekend existential self discovery, if that isn’t an oxymoron. Since then I have been locked in a most heroic struggle with an extremely tedious task necessary for my next great project. But too rays of sunshine lit up my rainy weekend 1. A friend of mine confessed to finding his own company boring, something I rank lower than my reaction to selftime which is one of gloom. To find yourself boring has got to be to plumb new depths of self scrutiny. I am really impressed \u2013 wow! Personally I find myself to be the most fascinating being in the universe, bar none. Second I received a poem from a friend. Sadly it’s not about me but it is about a present I bought her at the car boot sale. I could not resist getting her a ceramic container for a Brillo pad. Just knew she would be delighted and to top that I knew she needed one. Who doesn’t! Anyway here is a picture of the item and below that the splendiferous poem written in its honour. The bard is Barbara Evans of the parish of Worcester. I believe this to be opus 1 but stand to be corrected. More poems on domestic artefacts are most welcome.<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

Penelope Posonby Penstemonn Prillo, who paid insufficient attention to safety at the sink and was early cut off in Dreadful agonies<\/p>\n

A Cautionary Tale by
\nHillarious Bollocks<\/p>\n

Barbara O’Donnell had never had
\nA receptacle for her brillo pad
\nThankfully she had a mate
\nWho saved from a dreadful fate
\nThe like of which I’ll now relate<\/p>\n

Penelope Ponsonby Penstemonn Prillo
\nWas scrubbing away at her pans with a brillo
\n(The butler was off- he was quite a cumudgeon
\nHousekeeper and servants-resigned in high dudgeon)
\nShe scraped and she scrubbed at the fat from the bacon
\nThen suddenly cried “Whats that noise the dog’s makin’?”
\n(A creature called Fluff- with a very loud bark
\nWho often made out he was sick for a lark)
\nAs she rushed in a panic towards the back door
\nThe brillo pad slid off the sink to the floor
\nWhen she’d scolded the dog and returned with the vac
\nShe slipped on the brillo pad, fell on her back
\nAnd there she did lie for a number of days
\nUntil the old butler, who’d mended his ways,
\nreturned to her ladyship’s home full of smiles
\nTo find her prostate on the floor on the tiles
\n“Who am I? Who are you?” she cried. “If it please yer”
\nThe butler replied, ” You be sick with amnesia.
\nJust sign this new will. You can leave me the lot”
\nAnd when it was done, killed her off with one shot<\/p>\n

So Barbara be thankful when reading of this
\nThat you have such a friend in the generous Chris
\nTo save you from injury his dearest wish
\nAs he Scoured the car boots for a brillo pad dish.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I coped with my weekend existential self discovery, if that isn’t an oxymoron. Since then I have been locked in a most heroic struggle with an extremely tedious task necessary for my next great project. But too rays of sunshine lit up my rainy weekend 1. A friend of mine confessed to finding his own […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-873","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-everything-else"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/873","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=873"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/873\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=873"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=873"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=873"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}