{"id":3190,"date":"2021-05-06T11:30:34","date_gmt":"2021-05-06T10:30:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/?p=3190"},"modified":"2021-05-06T11:35:52","modified_gmt":"2021-05-06T10:35:52","slug":"marias-day-v-chriss-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/marias-day-v-chriss-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Maria\u2019s day v Chris\u2019s day"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So instead of going on about all the silly arty nonsense that gives me pleasure and purpose, in the spirit of Tuffin here are two lists \u2013 Maria\u2019s typical day and mine (while on chemo \u2013 see postscript)<\/p>\n<p>Maria\u2019s list on the days she doesn\u2019t go to work<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Bring me a cup of tea in bed, make coffee<\/li>\n<li>Feed 3 cats \u2013 much cat wrangling required<\/li>\n<li>Shower<\/li>\n<li>Stand in mouse guts in bare feet<\/li>\n<li>Replenish coal for stove add mouse guts as additional fuel<\/li>\n<li>dress, make-up, contacts etc<\/li>\n<li>Bring me toast and coffee in bed<\/li>\n<li>Open Nonna\u2019s front door so that the two cats who don\u2019t try to kill each other can get in for snacks and Nonna love<\/li>\n<li>Listen to me moan about illness from bed over Alexa \u2018announce\u2019<\/li>\n<li>Visit Nonna<\/li>\n<li>Do some of the necessary for Nonna &#8211; cleaning, sometimes lunch prep later \u2013 help with bathing \u2013 wash hair \u2013 unpleasant potty toilet business<\/li>\n<li>Prepare open fires<\/li>\n<li>Collect kindling and fill coal buckets (after all my poorly back!)<\/li>\n<li>Online shopping for us and Nonna \u2013 I would do ours but I am not allowed, &#8211; grievance 1<\/li>\n<li>Washing machine stuff \u2013 I \u00a0don\u2019t know what exactly as I have always assumed a laundry fairy did it<\/li>\n<li>Put clothes out to dry in sun<\/li>\n<li>Take clothes back in from hail<\/li>\n<li>Tidy up and vacuum fresh rabbit fur tails etc<\/li>\n<li>Remove the previously missed desiccated cat kills, vomit or just occasionally poo<\/li>\n<li>Change cat litter as response to above \u2013 the little sods like their bathroom to be &#8216;cilit banged&#8217; or they wont use it<\/li>\n<li>Empty bins we have 4 indoor kitchen bins<\/li>\n<li>Move outside and shuffle the 4 different coloured outdoor dustbins we have + Nonna\u2019s four<\/li>\n<li>Feed cats again \u2013 this goes on all day<\/li>\n<li>Chop wood with chain saw \u2013 her favourite thing &#8211;\u00a0 think she imagines its mine or Nonna\u2019s head under her ferocious blade<\/li>\n<li>Loads of garden jobs including cutting grass or tending the tomato farm next door<\/li>\n<li>Walk down road to get eggs<\/li>\n<li>Put away online delivery for us and Nonna\u00a0 (after all my poorly back!)<\/li>\n<li>Make my lunch (naturally)<\/li>\n<li>Maybe some ironing<\/li>\n<li>Practise piano (bang the keys a lot and swear)<\/li>\n<li>Prepare work for school eg recording backing tracks (a little bit hilarious because of above)<\/li>\n<li>Respond to emails from Tiger mums<\/li>\n<li>Do an online safeguarding course again &#8211; third time lucky with the acronyms<\/li>\n<li>Make me a refreshing cup of tea<\/li>\n<li>Listen to me moan about my illnesses<\/li>\n<li>Visit Nonna again<\/li>\n<li>Listen to her moan about her illnesses<\/li>\n<li>Do Nonnas washing up<\/li>\n<li>Lock Nonna in<\/li>\n<li>Realise Mitch is also locked in at Nonna\u2019s<\/li>\n<li>Find Mitch hiding at Nonna\u2019s<\/li>\n<li>Lock Nonna in again<\/li>\n<li>Feed traumatised Mitch who doesn\u2019t like enforced house moves<\/li>\n<li>Wrangle the other two cats (can involve chasing Vince round the kitchen table a few times with Bobby hissing in the b\/h a door in the background)<\/li>\n<li>Water a million outdoor pots<\/li>\n<li>Make my dinner (now late cos of above &#8211; Grievance 2 &#8211; prioritise Chris not pot watering)<\/li>\n<li>Collect my lap table and cutlery and present a delicious home made dinner<\/li>\n<li>Receive praise from me (naturally}<\/li>\n<li>Watch my choice of TV (actually that isn\u2019t true I can\u2019t let that go makes me sound like a lazy misogynist tyrant)<\/li>\n<li>Go to bed annoyingly early because she is tired!<\/li>\n<li>Read Woodhouse to escape \u2013 I wonder why.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>My list<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wake up (phew) &#8211; be awake already (poo)<\/li>\n<li>Take pills and Eat breakfast<\/li>\n<li>Moan about my Illnesses<\/li>\n<li>Add trousers and jumper to my three day usage bed underwear thus completing my work wear in 14 seconds<\/li>\n<li>Go to my desk \/Faff about with e-mail\/push paperwork hither and thither for a couple of hours &#8211; sharpen pencils &#8211; bash blackboard rubber &#8211; drink milk from tiny bottle with white paper straw &#8211; cry internally most of the day &#8211; oops i digress that was primary school\u00a0<\/li>\n<li>Eat lunch then well deserved nap<\/li>\n<li>Sometimes teach the few students who attend online sessions thus avoid marking for the fifth day<\/li>\n<li>Buy something online to make me feel better and less stressed about the build up of marking<\/li>\n<li>Obsess for the next 5 hours about some ridiculous arty project until my arse grows numb<\/li>\n<li>Moan about my illnesses which now includes numb arse<\/li>\n<li>Get pissed of that the ridiculous Arty project doesn\u2019t work<\/li>\n<li>CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN (yep this contribution has to be writ large- (after all my poorly back! &#8211; what a martyr))<\/li>\n<li>Eat delicious dinner, much telly, pills<\/li>\n<li>groan my way into my bed in now approaching 4 day usage bed underwear<\/li>\n<li>Not sleep<\/li>\n<li>Write this<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Ps. Of course when I am not on chemo it\u2019s a different story \u2013 of course!<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So instead of going on about all the silly arty nonsense that gives me pleasure and purpose, in the spirit of Tuffin here are two lists \u2013 Maria\u2019s typical day and mine (while on chemo \u2013 see postscript) Maria\u2019s list on the days she doesn\u2019t go to work Bring me a cup of tea in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3190","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-everything-else"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3190","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3190"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3190\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3196,"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3190\/revisions\/3196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gravityisahat.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}